"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and..."
- George Carlin
"Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"
- Frank Zappa
"I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule."
- Shannon Hale
"An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it."
- Winston S. Churchill
"It is never ridicule, but a compliment, that knocks a philosopher off his feet. He is already positioned for every possible counter-attack, counter-argument, and retort...only to find a big bear hug c..."
- Criss Jami
"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.""And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.""And..."
- Jane Austen
"What--has O-Tar seen an ulsio and fainted?" demanded I-Gos with broad sarcasm."Men have died for less than that, ancient one," E-Thas reminded him."I am safe," retorted I-Gos, "for I am not a brave an..."
- Edgar Rice Burroughs
"I do not understand this man," [Tempi] said. "Is he attempting to buy sex with me? Or does he wish to fight?"
- Patrick Rothfuss
"(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts."
- Terry Pratchett
"I don't care whose son he is. I won't go belly-up like a timid pup. If he's fool enough to take a poke at me, I'll snap the finger clean off that does the poking."