"So I am not a broken heart. I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty and i..."
- Charlotte Eriksson
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
- Jeff Foxworthy
"Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria."
- Benjamin Franklin
"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."
- Dorothy Parker
"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."
- Terry Pratchett
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
- W.C. Fields
"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
- Chelsea Handler
"We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail."
- David Sedaris