"...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine'. And your life is a long line of fine."
- Gillian Flynn
"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."
- Terry Pratchett
"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
- Chelsea Handler
"We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail."
- David Sedaris
"I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."
- George Carlin
"For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered th..."
"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"
- Warren Ellis
"To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems"
- Matt Groening
"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
- Alex Levine
"I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels."
- Darynda Jones