"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
- Steven Wright
"What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes."
- Charles Bukowski
"In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
- Mark Twain
"Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve."
- The Kinks
"Hell's bells, irony blows."
- Jim Butcher
"People often say that the English are very cold fish, very reserved, that they have a way of looking at things – even tragedy – with a sense of irony. There’s some truth in it; it’s pretty stupid of t..."
- Michel Houellebecq
"Look, Laszlo. I'll have the dentist with me, and I don't want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk."Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open...."
- Kerrelyn Sparks
"To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, "I wish I had known this some time ago."
- Roger Zelazny
"What would a racist call werewolves? Wargs? She kind of liked that one, but suspected that racist bastards didn't read Tolkien."
- Patricia Briggs
"The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence."
- Amit Kalantri