"A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order."
- Ryan Lilly
"If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles."
"The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing."
"Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who's at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?"