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"The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fif..."

- David Sedaris

humorfunnyjokevindictive

"When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spir..."

- Ilona Andrews

funnyjokekatecheerleading

"The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell..."

- Mark Twain

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"The apex of mathematical achievement occurs when two or more fields which were thought to be entirely unrelated turn out to be closely intertwined. Mathematicians have never decided whether they shoul..."

- Gian-Carlo Rota

humorfunnyachievementjokesciencemathupsetexcitementmathematicalmathematics...

"Your... Your aura. It's... amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today... Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.'I shifted around un..."

- Richelle Mead

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"The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live..."

- David Sedaris

humorfunnyjokecleaning

"Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye."

- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

humorhumoureyeeyesfunnycomprehensionhumorousunderstandinglanguagejoke...

"C: What do you get when a giant sneezes?Out of the way. - Marigold"

- Jean Ferris

funnyjokegiants

"Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare."

- Santosh Kalwar

americafunnyjokecountrieseuropepoetry-quotesasia

"I wish the Fallen would just come to us for a change.”Ironically, Fallen Angels dropped from the sky and surrounded us.“I wish I had a chocolate cake!” I exclaimed, staring up.No cake appeared, though..."

- Laura Kreitzer

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