"I wanted to pull out his toenails and poke them in his eyeballs."
- Nicole Peeler
"My libido was doing the humpy dance while dressed in Milkbone pasties and a thong."
"I blinked at her, suddenly loathing her to the depths of my soul. Not only was she probably rather evil, and definitely thoroughly unpleasant, but she also didn't read."
"The way I saw it, one of the single greatest advantages of being in a relationship was that you got to eat off the other person's plate."
"I was pretty sure I'd just had a nerdgasm."