"I was hoping to find a way out of here and instead found you."
- Nicki Elson
"You might not believe in the devil, but do you believe evil lurks in this world?"
"Given his personality, I’d say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime."
"You should seriously get a job planning dates for The Bachelor."
"The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it."
"Oh.” It was one those ohs that came packed with layers of meaning — none of which merely meant oh."
"He’d only ever seen her twice, only talked to her once, but as he now gazed upon her, he realized that he’d missed her all day long."
"If you’re going to be a dickhead, at least have the courtesy of doing it while I have a drink in my hand so I can throw it in your face!"
"He’s so outta my league, we’re not even playing the same sport… He’s professional soccer in Europe and I’m intramural badminton in the States."
"You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me."