"There are never enough 'I love you's."
- Lenny Bruce
"Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
"Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it."
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it...try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't."
"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."
"If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government."
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like "What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up"
"(On his addiction to opiods): I'll die young, but it's like kissing God."
"If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish"