"Everything comes out of smoke and mist and nothingness, a mystical happening…"
- Joan Rivers
"Liked" was the kiss of death. "Loved" or "hated" interested him. At least the performer had aroused emotion."
"Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true."
"…but I think comedy is more aggressive than that. It is a medium for revenge. We can deflate and punish the pomposity and the rejection which hurt us. Comedy is power."
"…you either do or do not have a comedy mind, whatever that is, maybe a heightened sense of the ridiculous and the absurdity of life…We are all crazy and crazed."
"I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't makeit through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'llmake a door. Something terrific will come no matter how darkthe present."
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."
"I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth, I'll tongue kiss Glenn Beck."
"I do a lot of lectures on survival. I always say you can't change what happened, so have a little wallow, feel very sorry for yourself, and then get up and move forward. You can't change what happened..."
"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."