"I'm fairly tired of hipsters. They have terrible taste in music. These kids come in and say, 'You don't have anything that was released this year?' That makes me crazy. We don't need anything from thi..."
- Eric Spitznagel
"I know what I want to hear. I want to hear the "Believe it or Not" song. I want to play that shit loud. Really belt out the "Should have been somebody eeeeeelse" part, with a little bit of Zack de la ..."
"After we hung up, I took the joint. If I was going to die here, in the creepy basement out of a horror movie, in an epic snowstorm that was like an icy prison, with a wife unwilling to pretend-like Ba..."
"Got it!" Mike announced. The GE record player slowly whirred to life, creaky as an old carousel."Nice," John said, raising a beer in salute. "What'd you do?""It wasn't on," Mike said."
"It's like a blueberry White Russian,' John said, now on his third spoonful.'It tastes exactly the same,' Mike said, his teeth already bright blue.'No, no, it tastes better,' John said. 'I feel like it..."
"He tilted the box toward a chipped Pottery Barn blue bowl, and the little blue clumps, like cerulean rat turds, tumbled out, hitting the porcelain with a surprisingly metallic thud. It sounded like pe..."
"So are we going to eat some Boo Berry or what?" John said, leaping out of his seat and toward the refrigerator."