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"I'm going to talk to her.""And how's that going to go? You're just going to walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I know you've never seen me before, but I'm your dad. Oh, and guess what? You've won the evolu..."

- J.R. Ward

humorvampire

"Run first,' Shane said. 'Mourn later.'It was the perfect motto for Morganville."

- Rachel Caine

humorfantasyvampireparanormal-romance

"He’s not feeling well,” Clary said, catching at Simon’s wrist. “We’re going.” “No,” Simon said. “No, I — I need to talk to him. To the Inquisitor." Robert reached into his jacket and drew out a crucif..."

- Cassandra Clare

humorclaryvampiresimonrobert

"I have been stabbed, shot, burned, bitten, beaten unconscious too many times to count, and even staked. None of those held a candle to the pain I felt at seeing his mouth on hers."

- Jeaniene Frost

humorvampire

"So--what's it like, being a vampire?""Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what's it like to be a vampire!""I don't see why," Aline said. "He hasn't been a vampire..."

- Cassandra Clare

humorbloodvampiresimon-lewis

"Terrific. A bisexual dominant vampire with kidnapping expertise."

- J.R. Ward

humorvampireparanormal-romanceblack-dagger-brotherhood

"Whoa. Fangs. She had fangs.She leaned in, prodded them a little. Eating with those puppies was going to take some getting used to, she thought.On impulse, she brought up her hands, turned her fingers ..."

- J.R. Ward

humorvampireparanormal-romancebeth

"The train is roaring toward you and the villain is twirling his moustache and you're fussing that he's tied you to the tracks with the wrong kind of rope."

- Robin McKinley

humorvampirevillians

"Playing with fire Kitten?"

- Jeaniene Frost

humorvampire

"You're such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V)"

- J.R. Ward

friendshiphumorvampire
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