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"Words are the bones. Writing is the lungs. Reading is like breathing."

"How hard can writing be? After all, most of the words are going to be 'and,' 'the,' and 'I,' and 'it,' and so on, and there's a huge number to choose from, so a lot of the work has been done for you."

"I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it."

"Follow the ideal doing,grind the beans just before brewing.Use spring water,for softened water,makes a horror.A parley perfect,between the coffee,and the milk,with some, brown sugar thick.” (Poem: An ..."

"Homeowners' Association: the means whereby people who own homes are able to transfer their rights to the neighborhood control freaks."

"I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6."

"The people of the United States will do anything for Latin America, except read about it."

"I used to ask myself, ‘Sergei, would you rather spend your money on drink or women?’ and thanks to the club, I spend it on both and am called a patron of the arts."

"I’ve always had a thing for men with large hadron colliders."

"If you were in paris your food might as well glitter."