"Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long."
- Drew Hayes
"You’re a good man who happens to be a vampire. We aren’t human, but that doesn’t make us monsters."
"Albert died in an unfortunate accident sometime ago and was raised as a zombie by his amateur necromancer friend, Neil. Bubba was a new friend we had acquired in Vegas when helping him gain back the f..."
"Look, I’ll tell you what I do, but you won’t believe me.” … “Given that I just found you bound and gagged, my mind is somewhat more receptive than it might normally be.” “Well then, here’s the deal,” ..."
"Are you telling me that vampires and werewolves are the reason America won the Revolutionary War?,” I asked, dumbfounded."