"Books to read. Bitches to push out of the door."
- Barbara Elsborg
"Hey, you’re not supposed to find our magnificent organs amusing."
"The higher up I hold it, the less painful the hot wax.”…“Try hanging off the ceiling and dropping it from there."
"That should give him time for another wank. It was a good job masturbating didn’t make you go blind."
"Oh God, can I keep you? You don’t need batteries, do you?"