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"In my desperation to try to lull myself into a gentle sloom, I have created a list of things that will often assist my descent into delicious treacle-sleep. The list includes a series of things I can ..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourcookiesbreakfast

"Tell me, Peppone, what other talents do you have besides erasing undesirables?” “I enjoy a fair bit of sneaking, sir. I also enjoy pilfering and killing as a professional courtesy.” “What a delightful..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourfantasypirates

"He pointed at the caiques, but Peppone declined the librarian’s offer, saying only, “Do you think the proprietor of the inn where we met will report us?” “The money I left him was more than enough to ..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourfantasymoneypirates

"Swearing is a currency the countryside spends well."

- Michelle Franklin

humourcountryswearing

"The rest of the evening passed agreeably: the crew had their games on the main deck, resigning themselves to Sirs and dice now that dancing was out, those who would go ashore to enjoy the dining halls..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourfantasysongspirates

"No one needs Independence. We all just need tea and air conditioners."

- Michelle Franklin

humoursummertea

"Teaching a man how to clean barnacles from a keel is an amazing useful talent, one any child should be fortunate to learn. Magochiro is our champion barnaclebully at present. String him under a keel, ..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourpirates

"You—“ Mr Bellstrode began, and then leaning forward and sinking his voice, “You would kill for money?”“Is there any other reason to? Well, I suppose there is revenge, but that, you know, never makes o..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourmurderpiratesmercenariesassassination

"I don't talk ill about people I don't know," said Bartleby. "I only disparage them in silence and hope they die."

- Michelle Franklin

lifehumourgossipintrovertshating-others

"I leave the outdoors to you. It is too warm out there to read comfortable, and summer, like many uncomfortable things, is as welcome as a dim woman. It is tolerable to look at, but after being made to..."

- Michelle Franklin

humourwomenignorancestupidity
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