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"Claim whatever you want. Say you only want a happy family or a successful career or a big house. I say: no, that's not what you want. You'll settle for those things, but you really want a monkey that ..."

- Maureen Johnson

humoressaymonkeys

"WORTH IT and perfect are different things. No one’s perfect, yet in romance, everyone becomes WORTH IT. And that’s the trick."

- Maureen Johnson

romanceperfecttrickworth-itmaureen-johnson

"I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised r..."

- Maureen Johnson

deathhumorhumourfunnytwilightslaughterlambs

"She had always thought applying to college would be exciting. Living away from home, meeting so many new people, Learning new things, making a few poor life desicisons...."

- Maureen Johnson

life-lessonsschool

"When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. "Put your clothes in for a wash," he said. "They were disgusting."Ginny always thought that the onl..."

- Maureen Johnson

humorhumourfunnykeith

"Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies."

- Maureen Johnson

lovehumorfunny

"I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater.""It would would be easier if you just said porn," Scarlett said."No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need..."

- Maureen Johnson

funny

"Fear can't hurt you. When it washes over you, give it no power. it's a snake with no venom."

- Maureen Johnson

fear

"My final word: don't follow your dreams . . . chase them. With a stick, or a shovel, or whatever you have handy. Get that [bleep]ing dream!"

- Maureen Johnson

inspirationaldreams

"Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!"

- Maureen Johnson

humour
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