"Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally selfless like that."
- Kyle Adams
"First, I’m going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone.”“Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches,” I said, grinning."
"Day drag." Ashley answered simply. "The sun turns vampires into dust and drag queens into this." He motioned with his hand down his body."
"I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than..."
"Oh my, you big stud, your dancing boobs have enchanted me with your hypnotic sexual magnitudeness."
"When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off."
"A pet rock is a serious commitment and too much responsibility for a ten year old to handle on his own"
"hornier than a bunny on ecstasy"