"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."
- John Barrymore
"There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless."
"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."
"Dying is the last thing I will ever do."
"He neither drank smoked nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally saving his money he died early surrounded by greedy relatives. It was a great lesson to me."
"Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."
"My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today."