"One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit."
- J.A. Konrath
"We don't know the Devil's side of the story, because God wrote all the books."
"Sorry to hear about your Dad."He shrugged. "He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him.""Heart attack?""He was hit by a Pizza Express truck."
"I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I’m okay in that respect.” “Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals."
"Fate is a future you didn't try hard enough ti change. If you want things to go your way, being smart and being strong are helpful, but you still have to work your ass off."
"There's a word for an author who doesn't give up... published."
"Some people are born with a fire inside them. The will to succeed. It isn’t a learned behavior. It’s just some unknown biological factor that makes them try harder."
"If you can quit, quit. If you can't quit, stop complaining - this is what you chose."
"Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I’m counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might give you a reason to be nasty, they don’t give you a rea..."