"Clearly it's not all that pacific on the Pacific Ocean"
- Ilya Ilf
"This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America"
"A Spaniard and a Pole worked in the barbershop where we got our hair cut. An Italian shined our shoes. A Croat washed our car. This was America."
"Investigating Koreiko's case might take a long time," said Ostap. "God only knows how long. And since there is no God, nobody knows. We are in a terrible bind."
"There will be no beautiful widow with Persian eyes sitting at your grave. And teary-eyed kids won't be asking: "Papa, papa, can you hear us?"