"She wasn't fit to be a member of society. Her mind was a running sewer. The raunchiest teenager didn't think about sex as much as she did."
- Barbara Elsborg
" 'A hundred and seventy two multiplied by thirteen,' Tyler gasped. 'Two thousand two hundred and thirty six.' 'You're not supposed to bloody tell me. I'm trying to distract myself.' He opened one eye ..."
" 'I think that's why his asking me to pull the plug hurt so much. He kept saying if I really loved him, I should have been able to do it. And I thought, if he really loved me, he would never have aske..."
" 'I don't remember if I thanked you for saving me,' he said. 'So thank you.''You're welcome.' 'Though after this morning, I've added you to the list of those trying to kill me.' "
" 'Time to live dangerously. We're having pancakes.' "
"Books to read. Bitches to push out of the door."
"Hey, you’re not supposed to find our magnificent organs amusing."
"The higher up I hold it, the less painful the hot wax.”…“Try hanging off the ceiling and dropping it from there."
"That should give him time for another wank. It was a good job masturbating didn’t make you go blind."
"Oh God, can I keep you? You don’t need batteries, do you?"