"So there he is at last. Man on the moon. The poor magnificent bungler! He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned but give him a little metal a few chemicals some..."
- Russell Baker
"I've had an unhappy life thank God."
"When you're the only pea in the pod your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond."
"Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime and should be taken in small doses."
"When compelled to cook I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag."