"You tell me the dead are coming through a crack in my barn, but I shouldn’t worry?"
- Kathy Bryson
"I missed the good old days when phones were sturdy enough to be pounded for emphasis."
"Banks frown when employees torch the home of their principal account holder."
"This was going to be worse than the time I table danced in the diner in high school!"
"I knew I would lose my job when I accidentally set fire to my best friend’s house."
"This house has enough nooks and crannies for English muffins."
"Turns out there’s a reason smoking is not allowed on construction sites."
"You pretty much have to take the job since you hit him with the car."
"Maybe you’re worried that I won’t seduce you?"
"Elvis is the soul of discretion."